Cloudy with a chance of vampire drizzles.
Expect a light sprinkling of vampiric activity in the central and eastern sides of our dreadful city expanding to the north around dinner time. South side can expect…oh, who cares about the south anyways.
Usually you can avoid soggy vamps by simply staying inside your house. Or condo, or yurt, I don’t know your life! However the recent trend of higher humidity is driving many vamps indoors. These undead wastrels are more annoying than dangerous though as they are prone to long soliloquies of love lost and the benefits if adding soy to your diet. And no one wants to here about that! Your lucky number is the Chinese character for death.
Stay dry weary travelers!